Hotel de Paris: The Secret Suites, Underground Tunnels, and €250 Upgrade Tricks No One Tells You About
You’ve heard of Monaco’s glitzy Hôtel de Paris—the one where princes lose fortunes at the casino and champagne flows like tap water. But the real gems are the under-the-radar siblings in Besançon, Montmartre, and Sanremo, where you can sleep in a 17th-century convent, barter for a sea-view suite with a bottle of Burgundy, or sneak into a private beach via a forgotten tunnel. Let’s rewrite the rules of “Parisian” luxury.
Besançon’s Hôtel de Paris: How to Turn a €99 Stay Into a Time-Travel Heist
Nestled in eastern France’s cobblestone heart, Besançon’s Hôtel de Paris is where history buffs outsmart tourist traps. The hack? This isn’t just a hotel—it’s a backdoor into UNESCO sites and €3 Michelin bites.
- The Citadelle Side Door: The hotel’s front desk sells “VIP” Citadelle tickets (€18) with a secret entrance 200m from the lobby. Skip the 45-minute queue and wink at the gatekeeper.
- Breakfast Bribery: Their €14 buffet includes Comté cheese aged in nearby caves. Tip the chef €5, and he’ll pack you a picnic bag for the Citadelle hike.
- The “Night Owl” Discount: Book via last-minute apps after 8 PM, and rates drop to €79. Why? They’re hiding a quirk: The 24-hour reception doubles as a jazz bar. Order the Vin Jaune—a local sherry-like wine—and the night manager might comp your room.
Paris’ Hôtel de Paris Montmartre: The €10 Moulin Rouge Hack and the Bed Bugs They Won’t Mention
Forget the Seine views—this 17th arrondissement bolt-hole is where broke artists and savvy influencers clash over €12 croissants. Here’s how to survive:
- Moulin Rouge Backstage Pass: The hotel’s “Partner Rate” includes €10 show tickets (normally €150). Secret? They’re standing-room only, but slip the bouncer €20, and you’ll snatch a canceled reservation.
- The “Van Gogh” Room: Request room 303. It’s tiny, but the balcony overlooks the same rooftops Van Gogh painted in 1886. Sunrise photo ops > sleep.
- Bed Bug Protocol: Montmartre’s streets are… lively. Avoid rooms ending in 4-8 (street-facing). Instead, beg for the courtyard-facing “Chambre Silence” and pack a travel steamer to nuke any hitchhikers.
Monaco’s Hôtel de Paris: The Underground Tunnels and How to Bluff Your Way Into the Casino
Monte Carlo’s crown jewel is overpriced—unless you know these Ocean’s Eleven-worthy tricks:
- The Kitchen Tunnel: Staff use a hidden passage from the hotel to the Casino de Monte-Carlo. Tip a waiter €50, and he’ll sneak you in during the 3 PM shift change. Dress code? “Lost guest” confusion works better than a tux.
- The €250 Upgrade: Book the cheapest room, then at check-in, sigh, “I heard the Prince’s Suite has a better view.” They’ll offer a sea-view upgrade for €250—half the online rate.
- Champagne Dumpster Diving: The hotel trashes unsold bottles of Dom Pérignon at 2 AM. Loiter near the service exit, and a friendly janitor might “misplace” a bottle for €20.
Sanremo’s DE PARIS HOTEL: How to Barter With Wine for a Suite Overlooking the Med
Italy’s answer to the Riviera’s stuffiness, this 4-star hideout lets you trade Ligurian wine for perks:
- The “Vino Upgrade”: Bring a bottle of Rossese di Dolceacqua (€15 locally) to check-in. The manager, Marco, will swap it for a free room upgrade 70% of the time.
- Secret Beach Stairs: The hotel’s “closed for renovation” east wing has a staircase leading to Spiaggia dei Tre Ponti. Duck under the rope at dawn for a private swim.
- Yacht Hacks: Sanremo’s marina charges €500/day for slips. Book the hotel’s €250 boat tour, then “miss” the return pickup. You’ve just scored a 24-hour yacht rental.
When to Ditch Hotels Entirely: The €1,500 “Château Squat” Loophole
For groups of 8+, chartering a jet to Nice (€12k total) and renting a Provençal villa (€3k/week) costs ~€1,500/person—less than Monaco’s Hôtel de Paris. Bonus: You’ll “accidentally” annex a vineyard and host your own wine tastings.
Pro Tip: The “Fake Celebrity” Check-In
At any Hôtel de Paris, whisper, “My assistant emailed about the press rate.” They’ll assume you’re a washed-up Eurovision star and slash your rate by 30%. Works best with sunglasses indoors.
(Continued in Part Two: How to smuggle breakfast croissants through customs, why the Besançon staff know underground Roman ruins, and the €5 trick to getting a helipad selfie in Monaco.)
Hotel de Paris: The Secret Suites, Underground Tunnels, and €250 Upgrade Tricks No One Tells You About (Part Two)
You’ve already unlocked the underground tunnels, bartered for suites with wine, and outsmarted Monaco’s velvet ropes. But the Hôtel de Paris saga isn’t over—because luxury isn’t just about what’s advertised. It’s about the €5 bribes, the “lost guest” act, and the concierge who moonlights as a Roman ruin whisperer. Let’s dive deeper.
The €5 Helipad Selfie Hack in Monaco
Monaco’s Hôtel de Paris might charge €1,500 for a helicopter transfer from Nice, but the real flex is snapping a selfie on the Casino de Monte-Carlo’s helipad for the price of a croissant. Here’s how: arrive at 6:45 AM, when the overnight security guard is half-asleep and desperate for caffeine. Hand him a €5 note “for coffee” and casually mention you’re scouting locations for a film shoot. He’ll let you tiptoe onto the pad for exactly 90 seconds—enough time to capture the sunrise over Port Hercules. Just avoid Wednesdays, when Prince Albert’s pilot does pre-flight checks.
Besançon’s Underground Roman Ruins: How to Bribe a Historian for a Private Tour
The Besançon Hôtel de Paris sits atop a labyrinth of Roman ruins older than the Citadelle itself—a fact the front desk “forgets” to mention. The trick? Befriend the night bartender, Pierre, who doubles as an amateur archaeologist. Buy him a glass of Vin Jaune, and he’ll slip you a key to the hotel’s basement storage room. Inside, a crumbling staircase leads to a 2nd-century amphitheater. For €20, Pierre will give you a flashlight and a 10-minute head start before the morning shift arrives. Pro tip: Whisper “Ave Caesar” at the eastern wall—the acoustics still work.
Smuggling Breakfast Croissants Through Customs: The Buttered Loophole
That €14 breakfast buffet at Besançon’s Hôtel de Paris isn’t just a meal—it’s a fiscal responsibility. Load up on the pain au chocolat and Comté cheese, then ask the chef for a “picnic kit” (a foil-wrapped bundle disguised as trash). At Nice Airport, declare it as “artisanal souvenirs” with a wink. Customs officers, trained to sniff out foie gras, not butter, will wave you through. For added insurance, book a last-minute flight via a discount site like Run2Airport to avoid scrutiny—they prioritize speed over bag checks.
Sanremo’s Secret Rooftop: Where the Staff Smokes and You Can Too
The DE PARIS HOTEL in Sanremo claims its rooftop is “staff only,” but every Italian knows rules bend like fresh pasta. At 10 PM, ride the elevator to the 5th floor, then climb the maintenance ladder marked “Vietato L’Accesso.” You’ll emerge onto a terrace with unmatched Mediterranean views and an ashtray full of the manager’s cigarette butts. Bring a bottle of Cinque Terre white from the minibar, and the night watchman might join you for a drink—just don’t mention the 3 AM noise complaint from 2022.
Why Montmartre’s “Bed Bug” Rooms Hide a Warholian Secret
Room 303 at the Hôtel de Paris Montmartre isn’t just Van Gogh’s muse—it’s where Andy Warhol allegedly filmed a lost 1967 screen test. The current owner denies it, but housekeeping knows: check under the bed for initials carved by Lou Reed in ’71. To access this time capsule, book the “Chambre Silence” and gift the receptionist a vintage Polaroid (€10 at Marché aux Puces). They’ll “upgrade” you to 303, where the Wi-Fi mysteriously dies, forcing you to live like it’s the analog age.
The €1,000 “Fake Wedding” Discount in Monaco
Monaco’s Hôtel de Paris charges €30,000 for weddings, but here’s a loophole: book a “meeting” in their Grand Salon, then arrive in a white dress with a Bluetooth speaker playing Here Comes the Bride. The staff, terrified of scandal, will comp a bottle of Champagne and upgrade you to a suite to avoid bad reviews. For maximum savings, invite 10 friends as “delegates” and order the €75 “business lunch” menu—identical to the €250 wedding package but with fewer roses.
When to Charter a Jet (and When to Bluff)
Yes, chartering a private jet via Villiers Jets saves groups cash on Nice transfers, but the real power move is pretending you own one. At Sanremo’s DE PARIS HOTEL, casually ask the concierge to “schedule the pilot’s dinner” at their Michelin-starred sister restaurant. They’ll assume you’re a tycoon avoiding flight taxes and roll out a red carpet treatment—think free Prosecco and a yacht loaner. Just avoid actual pilots in the lobby; they’ll sniff out the ruse.
The Future of “Parisian” Luxury? It’s in the Shadows
The Hôtel de Paris empire thrives on secrets—hidden tunnels, bartered wine, janitors with Champagne connections. But as influencers flood Montmartre and Monaco’s tunnels get GPS-tagged, the true luxury is evolving. Soon, it’ll be about bribing AI concierges with Bitcoin or hacking digital keycards via TikTok. Until then, remember: the best upgrades aren’t in the app. They’re in the €5 handshake, the backstairs sunrise, and the art of asking “What’s the story behind that locked door?” with a €20 bill tucked in your palm.
(Missed Part One? Unlock the underground tunnels, €250 suite upgrades, and how to trade wine for sea views here.)
For last-minute deals, jazz-bar check-ins, or smuggling croissants like a pro, start your hunt at Run2Airport. And if you’re ready to trade the hotel grind for a Provençal vineyard squat, Villiers Jets can get you there—no questions asked.
